Slowly letting go..ramble.

I don't know how to face you guys..the one who's always there through most of my basketball years..since the beginning and up till now.. We've faced a lot of things, some rough patches, through thick and thin, sweet and sour of the passion we shared together. Some helped me to stand and then gave up in the process, some helped me to walk, to run..faster. But looking at me now, I'm almost giving up and I know that these guys will think that all their hard work are as good as nothing. I'm too 'old' already guys.

I don't know when will I say 'goodbye' officially. My mind started betraying me and made my body it's accomplices and I don't have anything else to depend on.

"Stop it already, aren't you tired of it? Why would you wanted to go farther? What do you really want to prove and to whom? I don't see anymore reason for you to keep going on.." says my damn mind.

"I won't listen to you anymore, passion..! I will do what ever I like and disobeying you is on the list, so you know it." says my rebellious body. "And I won't take anymore injuries.. Should you be enough about it, or you want to see me withering to death, and just then will you consider to quit..?"

The one thing I do with all my heart put in it is now seems to be nothing more than just a game. A game which I used be proud to say that "Yeah, I play basketball..I want to improve, I want to be able to do more, I want to play more game.. I want to go farther with basketball.." but sorry to say that, everything seems so hazy, blurry, unrealistic, dim..and whatever word I can find to fit my uncertainty about how I feel right now..about how I see basketball right now.

Deep down in my heart, I do hope this is just a fluctuation of emotions and feelings generated by my scattered  brain. But part of realistic me tells that the time is almost there, for me to stop my basketball life.

Why do I have these unsure and insecure feelings? I don't know. Maybe it's because of I'm pretty much stressed out right now, with all the inconsistency in labwork results, time is almost up for me to wrap up my MSc, with my mom calling and asking about when will I finish, with other friends who are already settled down and will get on to next stage of their life sending wedding cards, with my mom-to-be best friend ever..it seems that only me stuck in the same stage of life, pretending not to age and  still young to hassle around with basketball. I don't know.. I just don't know.

I need more time for myself. Well, that's escalated too fast.

Kaki bangku..uuuuu..

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Sesungguhnya kaki aku dah kematu untuk main futsal. Aku pernah main masa kat matriks dulu. Ye, aku hebat, masa tula, dan aku rasala aku hebat..sebab masa tuh ramai gak opponent mark aku..hahaha..XP

Dah 8 tahunla kot aku langsung x main futsal. Bukan ape, aku ni jenis yang fokus pada satu benda jek pada satu2 masa. Sejak main basketball aku tinggalkan sukan lain termasuklah archery dan netball. Jadi, minggu lepas, sebab member ajak dan ada elaun, aku pun tibaila main futsal untuk team budak2 yang duduk luar asrama. Kasut pun takde, rules pun taktau apa, tibai jek. Aku hentam pakai kasut basketball aku sebab kasut yang member pinjamkan tuh longgar dan tak selesa..huuu.

Dan kesudahannya, aku jadi ayam..! Hahaha, tak banyak game pun kitorang dapat survive tapi cukupla setakat sampai quarter final. Dengan takde training, last minute member gathering..hahaha. Team2 lain memang main cantik. Yela, main sport dorang kan. Kalau korang datang men basketball pun aku gerenti aku akan belasah korang kaw2 punye. *tampar diri sendiri sebab cocky sangat*

Ok2, kesimpulannya, apa2 pun kita buat, kalau tak putus usaha dan training selalu, Insya-allah lama2 hebatla kan. So, kalau nak hebat main futsal aku kenala training..which is memang tak dahla kan dengan umur nenek kebayan ni haaa..hehe. 

Last but not least, majula sukan untuk apam balik..LOL..!

Tabiat ushar awex cun : Sukar dibuang

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Sesungguhnya tabiat mengushar awex cantik memang sukar ditinggalkan. Jangan silap faham, aku suka tengok2 awex comel, cantik, lawa, cun sebab kagum dengan ciptaan Allah. Takde maknanya nak suka kat kaum sejenis. Aku kagum sebab luar dan dalam dorang ada naluri kewanitaan..! Cheywah..! Aku ada tapi aku simpan kat dalam sorang2 jela, geli pulak nak tunjukkan kat luar. 

Kadang2 aku rasa aku ni seorang lelaki dalam badan seorang perempuan, yang tak berapa nak perempuan sangat..kehkehkeh..belit2 kan? Aku memang suka belit2kan orang..hehe..

Kalau aku ada pakwe, untungla pakwe aku. Aku akan ajak dia ushar awex sama2..haha. Tapi dia taklehla ushar lebih2..nanti kang aku pulak jeles, dah jadi perang sedara..bukan apa, dosa wooo tengok aurat seorang wanita walaupun mereka sendiri yang mendedahkannya minta ditonton. Bila lelaki terpandang ushar sikit mulala kata lelaki gatalla apela.. EYH..! Menyimpang pulak..hehe..maap. BTW, untuk para lelaki, sekali terpandang tu orang kata rezeqi so jangan kelip2 dah..! Rezeqi...katanya.. XP

Logik Kepala Otak Aku..

Salam..^^

Sebenarnya aku nak letak title post ni dalam bahasa Inggeris.."My Brain's Logic"..tapi takpela, dalam bahasa lagi best bunyiknya..brutal giteuwww..auww..XP

Ada satu hari tuh aku ke supermarket, nak cari sepasang kasut yang senunuh untuk dibawa ke kenduri..hohoho. Ada sepasang kasut ni sangat chumil dan harganya kalau nak ikutkan cumalah RM 59.90. Tapi aku rasa harga tuh sangatla mahal. Tapi bila pk2 balik, sneakers and kasut basketball aku lebih mahal berbanding tuh tapi aku tak pk banyak kali pun masa nak beli..haha.

Banyak lagi benda2 lain yang otak aku akan "Screw Logic" mode : Activated.. Contoh cam kat bawah ni..haha..

Tula yang aku nak cerita. Aku taktau logik kepala otak aku ni macam mana sebenarnya. Benda murah dikatakannya mahal, sebaliknya pulak benda mahal..sebenarnya bias..almaklumlah, otak lelaki aku ni tak suka sangat benda2 pompuan neyh.

Well, you know what, screw logic..! Hohoho.. Kalau aku dah suka sesuatu tuh, mahal pun mahallah, rasa murah jek.. Kalau dah tak suka tuh, free pun taknak kan.. 

Apa2 pun, berbelanjalah ikut kemampuan.. ^^